Part the Second: I Invite Myself to a Very Posh Ceremony

FADE BACK IN TO THE PRESENT. I turned 40 this year. I also got (amicably) divorced from Jay. And I’m seeing a wonderful, fabulous guy (Michael) who’s still MOST INCONVENIENTLY slightly married to someone else, so no big significant-other-thrown party for me. How to celebrate my big birthday?

Then I got an email from Gilead in September announcing that his application for Silk had been accepted. “Silk” or “taking silk” is shorthand for being appointed to Queen’s Counsel, which is the highest honor a barrister can receive. It’s marked by a ceremony where all the silks wear long (“full-bottomed”) wigs, knee breeches, patent leather pumps, and silk robes (as opposed to the woolen ones worn by junior barristers, hence the term silks for the QCs). [God bless Wikipedia!] There’s lots of bowing and an individual declaration of something or other by each silk, and a procession to receive the letters conferring the title — it’s like a combination Moonie wedding and graduation. The ceremony was to take place on Monday, October 16, and then a week full of parties, culminating with Gilead’s own party on Friday the 20th.

Yes! A week of free Champagne and canapés, with the added bonus of making fun of English people and their crazy legal system! I responded to his email:

I AM SO TOTALLY COMING

and he was actually totally excited about the prospect of having me there. They're allowed to have two guests at the ceremony, and his friend Hannah was going to be one, so I could be the other. (Gilly has lots of female friends, some of whom he’s dated, some not. Hannah’s one of the nots. He told me later, though, that he divides all his female friends into two categories: Former Girlfriends and Future Girlfriends. Oh, and then me.)

And to be honest, I was feeling what I’ve come to call Extreme Mistress Fatigue. When Michael and I met, we were both married to other people, but agreed that both marriages were essentially over. I don’t have kids, and Jay and I were already living apart, so mine ended ridiculously easily. Michael’s, though, just keeps dragging on and on with very little progress that I can see, though he swears it’s coming along and he has to do it at his own pace for the kids’ sake, which I don’t think is a lie at all, but come ON. I’ve been patient for over a year and a half. This isn’t what I want my life to be. Maybe someone’s telling me to give Gilly another chance.

I’m not sure how I did it, but somehow I got Gilly to offer to cash in his frequent flyer miles to buy my ticket. I’ll totally pay him back, of course. As soon as my CD goes platinum. (Hey, I am recording a CD. With Morty. Which is Another Story.)